Melt (The Steel Brothers Saga Book 4) Read online

  I shook my head. “No, then I’d just have to explain the whole story to them. You already know it, so we don’t have to go there. But yeah, I would rather not discuss Talon. I mean, at least not his sessions with you. That seems too private to me. But we can discuss Talon from my perspective. His situation is why I’m here, after all.”

  “I completely understand. So tell me, how did you find yourself in that situation? In a dark alley, getting beaten?”

  Embarrassment flooded through me. The last thing I wanted was for Melanie to think I couldn’t take care of myself when I encountered a couple of thugs. Of course I could. I could’ve sent both of them into tomorrow. God knew I had before when someone else was at stake.

  Just not me.

  Thing was, I knew exactly what I’d been doing. I was punishing myself. Seemed the only way to get rid of the guilt was to inflict so much physical pain on myself that I could no longer feel the emotional pain. I didn’t need Melanie or any other therapist to tell me that. Sounded pretty textbook to me.

  “Do you want to talk about something else?”

  “No, this is what I came here for. I hope you don’t think I can’t handle myself.”

  “Of course I don’t think that. Even if I did, I’m not here to judge you, Jonah. I’m here to help you.”

  Knife in the gut. She didn’t think I could handle myself. Well, I’d have to take care of that. I just wasn’t sure how to at the moment.

  “Do you want to tell me how you got into that situation? Or like I said, we can talk about something else.”

  Something else. If only…

  “It’s the guilt, Melanie. It’s eating me alive.”

  She nodded, her countenance grave. And something else laced her eyes.

  Pity.

  I didn’t want pity in any form. I didn’t deserve anyone’s pity. Nothing bad had happened to me, at least nothing I hadn’t walked into myself. Not like what had happened to Talon.

  “Please. Don’t look at me that way.”

  She widened her eyes. “What way do you mean?”

  “With sympathy. I don’t deserve it.”

  “I think you may have misread my facial expression. I’m only feeling concerned.”

  Right. I didn’t believe her for a minute.

  “But let’s attack this from a different angle,” she said. “How are you feeling? Physically? You took a pretty bad beating, but you look great today. There’s certainly no indication on your face that anything happened.”

  Of course there wasn’t. I always protected my face.

  “I feel okay. Still a little achy where my ribs were broken.” I’d taken some nasty boots to the back as well, but luckily they hadn’t done any lasting internal damage.

  “Well, that’s good news.”

  Silence reigned for what seemed like an hour. She didn’t seem to know what to say to me, and I sure as hell didn’t know what to say to her. Finally, I stood.

  “I think this might’ve been a mistake. I’m not certain I’m ready for therapy. I’m not sure I need it.”

  “All right, but feel free to change your mind,” she said. “My office is open to you anytime if you ever want to come back.”

  She moved toward me, and electricity surged through my veins.

  She was so beautiful, and I wanted to rip her blond hair out of that bun and watch it flow around her creamy shoulders.

  Of course, if I wasn’t going back to therapy, what was stopping me? She wasn’t going to be my therapist…

  I walked toward her, closing the distance, and met her emerald eyes.

  Her lips trembled—such gorgeous, kissable lips.

  Then I turned.

  I walked out of her office.

  Chapter Two

  Melanie

  I stood, alone, in the middle of my office, shuddering.

  It was better that Jonah Steel hadn’t kissed me, but for a millisecond I had been sure he was going to.

  And I had wanted him to.

  I shook my head to clear it. I’d been a practicing psychotherapist for over ten years now, and never had I let my feelings get in the way of the doctor-patient relationship. Certainly, I’d found some of my patients attractive—Talon Steel was gorgeous, after all—but I hadn’t let the attraction color my work. I had never harbored personal feelings for any of them beyond friendship.

  Perhaps it was best if Jonah Steel did not come back for more therapy, at least not with me. Something about him called to me. He looked a lot like his brother—same dark hair, only with a little gray at the temples. He wore a few days’ growth of beard, also laced with silver. What would that stubble feel like against my cheeks?

  “Stop it,” I said aloud. “He’s a patient, nothing more.”

  I sighed and walked over to my desk. My last appointment for the day had canceled. I logged in and checked some e-mails, responded to a few, and then closed up shop. I hadn’t had an hour off in the afternoon for a while, so I decided to do some shopping. I locked up my office, gave my assistant, Randi, a quick update, and headed down the elevator to the street. I worked in downtown Grand Junction, and there were plenty of shops to choose from.

  So I wasn’t sure why I entered the lingerie shop.

  A twenty-something woman with bleached-blond hair came forward. “Can I help you find anything today?”

  I shook my head. “Thank you. Just looking.”

  For what? I didn’t know. I never came into this shop. I was a cotton bikini kind of girl. Even my bras were lace and ribbon free. No need to accentuate a B cup.

  Purple. A display of purple satin and lace drew me. I rarely wore purple, so I wasn’t sure why the color beckoned me. The fabric was soft and smooth beneath my fingers.

  “That’s our new Midnight Reverie line.” The blonde came up behind me. “What size are you?”

  My cheeks warmed. I was tall and lean, a basic size six, with basic thirty-six B boobs. Nothing special about me or my body. Certainly not special enough for the Midnight Reverie line. Besides, all the purple would clash horribly with my green eyes.

  “The color would be great on you,” Blondie said.

  I turned toward her. “I never wear purple. It doesn’t look right on me.”

  “Are you kidding? With your skin tone and blond hair, you’d rock purple.” She eyed me up and down. “And you sure do have the body for it.”

  Now I was really uncomfortable. She was looking me over as if I were her dessert.

  Why had I come in here again? “If you’ll excuse me, I really must be going.”

  Blondie was not so easily swayed. “If you open a line of credit today, I can get you twenty percent off. Honestly, this line is perfect for you. The man in your life would adore you in it.”

  She had said exactly the wrong thing. I looked at her squarely. “I have no man in my life.”

  I walked swiftly out of the store.

  What had I been thinking going in there? I walked along, gazing in some store windows. My reflection stared back at me. My hair was a mess. A couple strands were falling out of the updo I’d worn.

  My body was…okay. Perfect for a purple lace lingerie line? Not even. Blondie was a good salesperson. A lot of women probably fell for her line.

  But not me. Nope, nothing special about me or my body. Nothing special about me, period.

  I sighed. Why had I been looking forward to shopping? Why not just go home and take the extra time to relax? I walked back to my office, took the elevator to the parking garage, and left.

  Talon Steel sat in my office, his hands on the arms of the leather recliner where he always sat.

  “It’s been a couple weeks,” I said.

  “Yeah, I’m sorry I haven’t been in. Harvest time at the orchard is finally dying down, and I’ll have more availability. I know it’s important to continue my sessions. I know I’m not fully healed yet.”

  Did anyone ever fully heal? I wasn’t so sure. “How is everything going?” I asked.

  “Pretty well.
I still have a dream about once a week, but they don’t matter so much anymore. Jade moved back in, and she shares my bedroom.”

  I smiled. “And you no longer fear sleeping with her.”

  He maintained eye contact, something he’d had a hard time with at first. “No. I look back now and wonder why I ever did. I know I would never hurt her.”

  I nodded. “I know.”

  “How did things go with Joe the other day?”

  I bit my lip. “I’m not at liberty to say. Although you gave me permission to share your sessions with him, he didn’t give me that same permission.”

  “Sorry. I didn’t think about that.”

  “There’s no reason why you should have. You’re just concerned about your brother.”

  “I am. It’s not like my brother to get the crap kicked out of him. He’s a big, strong man. He should be fine on his own.”

  I agreed. What could I say? “He has things to work through, Talon, just like you do.”

  “I just never understood why both my brothers were so affected by what happened to me. They both seem to carry a lot of baggage from it.”

  “What they’re going through isn’t uncommon. But you can’t take on their healing as well. They have to take that initiative.”

  “I guess you’re right, but it’s hard, Doc, watching them struggle.”

  “I’m sure it is. I’m sure it was just as hard, maybe harder, for them to watch you struggle all those years.”

  Talon nodded. “I always forget that. I always forget that what happened to me also happened to them, but in a different way.”

  “You’re absolutely right. But as I said, you can’t do their healing for them.”

  “I know. I wish I could help.”

  “You can. You can take care of yourself.”

  He pressed his lips into a slight frown. “Doc?”

  “Yes?”

  “How do you think I’m doing? I mean, really.”

  “I’ve told you before, Talon. Your progress is amazing. You’re doing great.”

  “Do you think I’m ready for…”

  “What?”

  He fidgeted, steepling his fingers. “I’d like to ask Jade to be my wife.”

  I couldn’t help a broad smile. “I think that’s wonderful.”

  “Do you think I’m ready? To make that kind of commitment?”

  “Only you can answer that question. Just that you’re asking, though, is huge. Remember, when you first came in here, you weren’t sure you could even have a relationship with Jade.”

  He nodded. “True.”

  “If you’re considering marriage now—I mean, if you are letting yourself consider it—then yes, I think you’re ready.”

  He sighed. “I really want to put a ring on her finger. I want the world to know she’s mine. And I do want to get married. I want her to be the mother of my children.” He shook his head. “Children. Man, I never thought I wanted to bring children into this world. But now, with Jade, I do, Doc. I want children.”

  “That’s wonderful. I think you’ll be a great father.”

  A wide smile spread across his handsome face. “I don’t know. But with Jade by my side, I feel like I can accomplish anything.”

  “You can accomplish anything. And it has nothing to do with Jade being by your side, although I know what you mean. Remember, you can do anything you set your mind to. Look how far you’ve come already.”

  He looked at his watch. “I have to cut our session a little bit short today, Doc. I have an appointment to meet a guy. The tattoo guy I told you about.”

  I nodded.

  “He says he found some of his old records. I’m hoping maybe I can track down the man he did the phoenix tattoo on. I need to prove that Nico Kostas was one of my abductors.”

  Talon had already decided who two of his abductors had been. Strange thing was, he’d turned out to be right about one of them—his half-uncle, Larry Wade. What were the chances he was right about the other? Slim to none. But he knew my feelings on the matter. “I wish you the best of luck. I know it’s important to you that you find them.”

  I watched as he walked out the door.

  Talon Steel was a handsome man, no doubt. But he didn’t make my heart flutter the way his brother Jonah did.

  Chapter Three

  Jonah

  I finished a hard day on the back forty, and after I had taken a quick shower, I decided to go for a swim. I lived in my own ranch house that I had built a while ago, before my father passed away. Things had gotten pretty cozy in the main house. The house might be five thousand square feet, but with my father, two brothers, and my sister, it was hard to get any alone time.

  God knew I needed my alone time.

  It was the only time I could think about things. Things I didn’t want to talk about, that my brothers and sister would have seen on my face. I hated them asking what was wrong all the time.

  I gave my golden retriever, Lucy, a quick pet, and then I dived into the cool water. I had always loved swimming. Truth be told, I preferred swimming to horseback riding. I rode with my brothers every so often, and of course I rode nearly every day taking care of the ranch, but it was really more my brothers’ thing than it was mine. I preferred being surrounded by water. Many times I’d wished I lived by the ocean instead of in the Rocky Mountains. Not that I would trade my life for anything. I loved working the ranch. Sometimes I wondered if I had been some kind of sea mammal in another life, the way I loved the water so much. Water took my weight away, not only physically but emotionally and mentally as well. The guilt that consumed me on land washed away in the water.

  I did two laps of freestyle and then switched to the backstroke, looking up into the sunset. Autumn was on the way now, and the days were growing shorter. I went on to the butterfly and then to the sidestroke, and then I rested, doing a few laps of the elementary backstroke. I could swim forever. And I loved every minute of it.

  When my skin got pruny, I left the water and grabbed my towel.

  Melanie Carmichael popped into my mind.

  I wanted to see her again. And not for therapy. But she knew all about me and my fucked-up life. She would never be interested in seeing someone like me socially. So there was really only one way to see her. I had to make another appointment for therapy.

  I’d give her a call tomorrow morning and set up an appointment.

  I toweled off and lay down on a chaise longue, stretching. Lucy lay down beside me. I closed my eyes. What a day.

  “Hey, Joe,” Talon said. “I want to go over to the Walker ranch and look around after school.”

  “What for?”

  “Just want to find out what happened to Luke. It’s not sitting right with me. He doesn’t seem like the type who would run away.”

  “Of course he would run away,” I said. “Those bullies are always giving him a hard time. Why would he want to stay here?”

  Talon shook his head. “Like I said, it just doesn’t sit right with me. Sure, it’s harder with the bullies, but…he’s not the type to run. He takes it, you know?”

  “You’d best go home. You’ll get your ass whooped if you don’t get your chores done.”

  “I’ll get them done when I get home. I just want to figure this out.”

  “You don’t even like the kid that much.”

  “I like him fine. And I hate what the bullies do to him.”

  “Best leave things alone,” I said, shaking my head. “He’ll make his way home soon enough.”

  “I want you to come with me, Joe.”

  I shook my head. “Heck, I’ve got major work to do this afternoon at home. And homework. I can’t do it.”

  “I’m going anyway.”

  “Suit yourself.”

  Our youngest brother, Ryan, tugged on Talon’s hand. “I’ll go with you, Tal.”

  My eyes shot open. It wasn’t the first time I’d nodded off and relived that day. It wasn’t a dream. It was a flashback to the day Talon had been taken. Th
e day all our lives had changed.

  If only I had gone with him…

  “I was surprised to get your call,” Melanie said.

  I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. I squirmed in the leather recliner. What to say? I wanted to see you again, so I made an appointment for therapy I don’t want? Nope, that wouldn’t do.

  Again, silence.

  “So why did you call? What would you like to talk about?”

  Her hair was down today, falling in a silky cascade against a green satin blouse that matched her eyes.

  “Honestly, I don’t know.”

  She smiled. “Okay. Why don’t you tell me about yourself? What’s a normal day like for you, Jonah?”

  I wasn’t sure how talking about a normal day would help me, but she was the doctor. “I keep pretty busy. I’m in charge of the beef ranch. You probably know that Talon runs the orchards and Ryan the winery.”

  She nodded. “Actually, Talon and I have talked relatively little about his work. But yes, I did know that he handled the orchard. He brought me some of his luscious peaches. They were delicious.”

  Luscious peaches. I shot my gaze to her chest without meaning to. She wasn’t huge like Jade, but damn, just the size of those large peaches from our orchard…and most likely just as succulent. What might Melanie taste like? A juicy peach? Maybe not. Maybe something completely unique. Yes, unique.

  “I guess when he came in, you knew exactly what to talk about.”

  She chuckled. “Actually, no. He didn’t really know what to talk about either. What you’re experiencing is completely normal. So I try to start with something familiar, like your daily life. Usually we end up where we need to be.”

  “But you didn’t do that with Talon.”

  “Of course I did. I just didn’t start with his daily routine.”