Craving (Steel Brothers Saga Book 1) Page 5

  “Well, this is a really good sandwich. I never would’ve thought of putting tomato on it.”

  “I actually came up with that one myself, although years later I found out that a lot of people like grilled cheese and tomato, which is why grilled cheese and tomato soup are so popular together.”

  “It’s delicious.” Thank you. The words sat on the tip of my tongue. Why couldn’t I utter them? Jade had done something nice for me, and the sandwich truly was delicious. It had been so long since I’d said those words to anyone and meant them. Rather, I changed the subject. “What have you been doing today?”

  “I drove over to the winery to talk to Ryan.”

  A sharp pain stabbed me in my gut. Why the hell was she talking to Ryan? Ryan was known as the most jovial and best-looking Steel brother. The guy always had a smile on his face. No baggage for that one. Of course not. I had saved him that day.

  “He’s going to give me some work over at the winery until I get my bar results.”

  Thank God. So that’s all it was. Jade was interested in wine.

  “What kind of work?”

  “Nothing too exciting. Mostly helping Marion around the office with busy work. He did say he would train me to do tastings. I’m really excited about that opportunity.”

  “Yeah, he opens up the winery for tastings all day on Friday and Saturdays. We get quite a good crowd there. He doesn’t charge for the tastings, but that doesn’t matter, because most people end up buying a case or two of wine.”

  “Do you like wine?”

  “I’m more of a bourbon or whiskey man myself. Peach Street is my favorite.”

  “I’ve never heard of that.”

  “It’s made here in Colorado. It’s some smooth stuff, let me tell you. Colorado makes some amazing whiskeys. Breckenridge and Stranahan’s are two other great ones.”

  “I’ll have to try them sometime. I’m not much into hard liquor, or beer, for that matter. My preference is wine when I drink at all. Which isn’t a lot.”

  No longer scalding hot, the rest of my sandwich was amazing. The sharpness of the cheddar and sweet acidity of the tomato combined with the whole-wheat bread into a succulent delicacy. I opened my mouth to say again how delicious it was but decided against it. No sense beating a dead horse.

  Jade finished her sandwich just as I took the last bite of mine. She stood, grabbed her plate and then mine, walked over to the sink, and ran water over them.

  For an instant, I imagined we were husband and wife. She had made my lunch for me and picked up my plate. No one other than Felicia, or whoever the cook/housekeeper of the day was, had ever picked up after me. Not my mother, not my father, and certainly not my brothers or sister. Was I supposed to say thank you for that as well?

  Why was it so hard? Usually I said thank you to Felicia. That was impersonal. It was a trained response. I took Felicia for granted. I knew I did. I pretty much took everything for granted.

  Jade tussled around the kitchen, putting something in the microwave. “I’m making a cup of tea,” she said. “You want anything?”

  There she went again. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why this was so amazing to me. “No thanks.” Although a cup of tea did sound good.

  I rose, walked to the cupboard, pulled out a mug, and filled it with water. When the microwave dinged, and she took her cup out, I put mine in.

  “What in the hell are you doing?” she asked me, her eyebrows arched.

  “I’m making some tea.”

  She shook her head. “What? The tea I offered wasn’t good enough for you?”

  My cheeks warmed. “No, I…I just didn’t want to be a bother.”

  She shook her head again, letting out a heavy sigh. “I really don’t get you, Talon. I was over here making a cup of tea. It would not have been any trouble to make another cup of tea. In fact, I could have put both cups in the microwave at the same time, and they’d be done by now.”

  Great. Now I felt like a piece of shit. Of course, since I always felt like a piece of shit, this was really nothing new. “Now you don’t have to bother.”

  “Oh, for the love of God!” She pounded her fist on the counter. “Damn it, that hurt!”

  “These counters are solid granite.”

  “Yes, yes. And I’m used to cheap Formica. Well, you got that right. Enjoy your tea.” She took hers and turned, walking toward the table.

  But she passed the table and headed for the hallway.

  Something stirred within me. I wasn’t ready to let her go yet. I wanted to spend more time with her. But how? If I asked her to stay and drink tea with me, she probably would. So ask her, Talon. Just fucking ask her.

  But my lips stayed clamped shut. If I let her anymore near me, the walls that were already beginning to crumble in her presence would come crashing down.

  What was it about her? Why did I want her so much?

  I had to stay away from her. Ryan probably didn’t have room for me in the guest house, but Jonah might have some room in his house. I’d go over and see him this afternoon and find out. And then I’d go into town and start the process for a permit to build my own structure here on the ranch. I needed to get far away from Jade Roberts. For her own good as well as mine.

  * * *

  Jonah was in his office, decked out in full cowboy regalia, ready to go out in the field and check on some steers. He looked up when I entered.

  “Hey, Talon, what are you doing out here?”

  “It is one quarter my ranch. Shouldn’t I know what’s going on from time to time?”

  “Sure. But you never come out here. I take care of the beef, Ry takes care of the vineyards, and you take care of the orchard. We don’t bug each other.”

  “I didn’t come out here to bug you, Joe. Actually came out ask you favor.”

  “Anything for you if I can. What you need?”

  “It’s time for me to build my own house here on the land. I’ve got a spot in mind, and I wanted to go over it with you, make sure you didn’t need it for pasture or anything. Then I plan to go into town and file the papers for the permit. I’ll drive into Grand Junction and hire an architect later this week.”

  “Are you sure that’s a good idea? That will leave Marjorie in the big house all by herself.”

  “She’s a big girl. And she’s got her friend with her now.”

  “I suppose. One of us is going to have to take over the big house eventually, though, and I figured it would always be you, Tal. I mean, I’ve got my own place already, and Ryan’s comfortable in the guest house. Marjorie will probably eventually meet someone and move off the ranch.”

  “Is it a goddamned crime for me to want my own house?”

  “No, of course not. Calm yourself down, for God’s sake.”

  “I just can’t stay there anymore, Joe.”

  “Why? What the fuck is wrong with that house? It’s beautiful. Felicia comes in every day and takes care of everything. You don’t have to do a damn thing.”

  “You don’t understand. I have to get away from…”

  “From what? Not Marjorie?”

  “Of course not Marjorie. She’s my sister. I love her.”

  “Then—oh my God.” Jonah raked his fingers through his dark hair that was beginning to gray at the temples. “It’s that friend of hers, isn’t it?”

  I looked down at my feet. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “I knew there’d come a day. She’s trying to knock down your walls, isn’t she, Tal?”

  “No. At least…I don’t think so. I mean, she’s not trying to.”

  “Getting under your skin, is she?”

  I sat down in the chair across from Jonah’s desk. I didn’t say anything. There was nothing left to say. I was an open book to my older brother. I had been since I’d come back.

  “Are you ready to get some help, Tal?”

  Help. Poor Joe didn’t know this, but no help existed for me. I was a product of so many different hells, an
d no one could help me. I had to live alone. Nothing else would work for me. “We’ve had this conversation before,” I said. “You couldn’t help me. Dad couldn’t help me. There’s no way some stranger can.”

  “There are strangers who have the right training to help someone like you. In fact— Oh, fuck, never mind. If you want to build a house, build a fucking house. Maybe Marj will want the ranch house. Maybe she’ll never marry, or maybe she’ll marry some poor pauper who wants to live big in the main house. Who knows?”

  I unrolled the land plats I had brought with me. “I’m looking at this place.” I pointed to the beautiful area I had chosen to build my home on. “It’s right on the lake, and you don’t currently use it for grazing land.”

  Joe grabbed the plat and took a look. “I don’t see why you can’t have it. But you know it’s open grazing out here, so the animals could make their way to you.”

  “I have no problem with that.” I liked animals. They understood me. They didn’t press. They didn’t judge. They didn’t ask questions I couldn’t answer. That silly mutt Roger had come around about a year ago, begging for food. I’d fed him, and I’d made a friend for life. The little guy doted on me, followed me everywhere, and I loved it. I loved him, as much as I was capable. Animals were easy to love. All Roger asked was a meal every day, a warm bed at my feet, and a scratch behind the ear now and then, and he gave me his loyalty unconditionally.

  “It’s pretty far removed from the rest of us.”

  “And?”

  Jonah shook his head. “And nothing. I guess that’s how you want it, Tal. One more wall you can lock around yourself.”

  “When you’ve walked a mile in my shoes, brother, you can judge me.” I stood.

  Jonah stood as well. “Talon, I would have gladly walked in your shoes to spare you the pain.”

  “You can’t say that. You don’t know…”

  “You’re right. I don’t know. I don’t pretend to know everything you’ve been through. But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have done anything to protect you. You’re my younger brother.” He let out a heavy sigh. “It should’ve been me.”

  “We’ve been through this time and time again. There was nothing you could have done.”

  “I should’ve been there to protect you. You were there to protect Ryan, and I should’ve been there for you.”

  “And what would that have accomplished? You would’ve gone through the hell instead of me? Or maybe we both would have? Is that truly what you wanted?”

  “Of course not. What I would’ve wanted was for neither of us to go through it. But if it had to be one of us, I would’ve preferred it to be me.”

  My skin prickled. The thought of either of my brothers enduring what I had nauseated me. “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard, Joe. Look at me. I’m alive. What more can I want?”

  “You’re not alive, man. You’re a goddamned corpse walking around—no feelings, all those walls. That’s not living, bro.”

  “I’m doing the best I can. This is all the living I know right now.”

  “Talon, that’s a fucking lie and you know it. You know what? I changed my mind. I do need that little plot of land for pasturing. I don’t want you building a house there, or anywhere, for that matter. If Jade is getting inside your skin, I’m all for it. You won’t let any of the rest of us in. If she can get in, maybe she can help you.”

  “Fuck you,” I said through gritted teeth. “I’m going to go start the process for the permit. That land belongs to me too, damn it.”

  My older brother sat down and threaded his fingers through his tousled hair once more. “Fine.”

  I turned and walked out the door.

  Right into Jade Roberts.

  Chapter Seven

  Jade

  The Great Wall of Talon Steel stopped me in my tracks. Damn. “Sorry.”

  “What are you doing here?” He didn’t smile.

  Of course, he never smiled.

  “I came to see Jonah. Why is that any of your business anyway?”

  “Joe’s getting ready to head out to pasture and check on some steers. And everything that happens on this ranch is my business, blue eyes.”

  I doubted that, but why argue? Besides, my tummy was fluttering from the “blue eyes.” I had a feeling he could call me just about anything and I’d react. “I haven’t seen him since I’ve been here, and I want to say hi and thank him for letting me stay.”

  “I see. Well, don’t let me get in your way.” He turned and walked away.

  I knocked on the door and then opened it. “Is anyone here?”

  “Yeah, come on in.” Jonah was in the corner, checking the spurs on his boots. “Hey, Jade.”

  “Hi. Sorry if I’ve come along at a bad time.”

  “Not at all. I have a few minutes. What’s on your mind?”

  Talon. But I couldn’t say that. “Not a whole lot. I just wanted to come by and thank you for letting me stay at the main house with Marj.”

  “Oh, that’s no problem at all. As you’ve seen, we’ve got the room. We’re happy to have you.”

  “I’m glad. I really appreciate all you guys are doing for me.”

  “Any friend of Marjorie’s is a friend of ours.”

  “Yeah… Well, I’ll see you around. I’ll let you get back to your work.” I turned.

  “Jade, wait a minute.”

  I turned back. “Yeah?”

  Jonah walked toward me, his spurs clacking on the floor. “There’s something I want to ask you, if you don’t mind.”

  “Not at all.”

  “I understand you’re helping Ryan over at the winery.”

  “Yeah. I’m really excited about it.” Was that what he wanted to know about?

  “So…” He hedged a bit. “What do you think of my brother?”

  Ryan? That was who were just talking about, right? “He’s great.”

  “Great. Hmm.”

  “Yeah. I mean, he didn’t have to give me a job at the winery.”

  Jonah shook his head. “Oh, no, I’m not talking about Ryan. I’m talking about Talon.”

  Talon… What could I say about Talon? Oh, he’s the best kisser in the world, but other than that he hardly speaks to me, and when he does, he’s usually rude. “Well… He… I don’t really know what to say. Talon keeps to himself.”

  “Have you and he…”

  What in the hell was he talking about? And then it dawned on me. Talon might have told Jonah about our kisses. Did brothers talk about things like that? I had no idea.

  “Have he and I what?”

  “Never mind.”

  But suddenly I wanted to know exactly what he meant. Talon was such an enigma. “I’d really like to know what you’re going to ask. In fact, I’d really like to know more about Talon.”

  “Why is that?”

  “Well, he’s so…closed up, you know?”

  Jonah nodded. “He’s been through a lot.”

  “Yeah, I know. Overseas. The Marines.”

  “Yeah…overseas…” Jonah’s dark eyes held a faraway look. A hint of sadness.

  “I asked Marj about him, and she said that’s just the way he is. Ryan didn’t say much more, except that it wasn’t his story to tell. What story is he talking about, Jonah?”

  Jonah looked above me, his gaze seemingly fixed on a spot on the wall. “Whatever story he’s talking about, it’s not mine to tell either.”

  That was no help. Why was I not surprised?

  “But could you do me a favor?” Jonah asked.

  “Sure. What do you need?”

  “Don’t give up on Talon. There’s something about you… He’s responding to you in a way I’ve never seen him respond to anyone.”

  “How could you think that? You’ve never seen us interact.”

  He smiled, handsome as anything, just like Ryan, but lacking the heat I felt when Talon looked at me.

  “Call it a hunch.”

  Hunch? I was supposed to “not give up
” because of Jonah’s hunch? “I’m afraid I don’t understand what you’re asking.”

  “Try to spend some time with him. Get him talking.”

  “He barely says two words to me, Jonah.”

  Jonah let out a laugh. “That’s probably two more words than he says to anyone else.”

  I couldn’t help it. I laughed too. “Does he ever smile?”

  Jonah sighed. “Not a lot, I’m afraid. But that’s part of my hunch. I have a sneaking suspicion that you might be able to get some smiles out of him.”

  “Did he tell you about—” I clamped my hand over my mouth. What was I saying? I hadn’t even told Marj about the kisses. I certainly wasn’t going to tell Jonah.

  “Tell me what?”

  “Never mind.” I turned around and ran out the door.

  God, sometimes I was such a complete moron.

  But I had made up my mind about one thing. I was going to learn more about Talon Steel. One way or another, I would find out what made him tick.

  Those walls were coming down.

  * * *

  I’d been sleeping better, but I purposely set my phone to buzz at one in the morning. Maybe I could learn more about Talon during one of his midnight kitchen raids. I walked out to the kitchen, but he wasn’t there.

  The next night, even though I was exhausted from my first day working with Ryan at the winery, I did the same thing.

  My phone buzzed for me at one in the morning. I rose, took a quick bathroom break, combed my hair, and pinched my cheeks. I purposely didn’t put on my robe. I was wearing my trademark cotton/spandex white tank and old boxers.

  I crept out into the kitchen. When I turned on the light, there sat Talon, at the same place at the table, staring a full glass of water, his dog at his feet.

  “Where were you last night?” He looked up.

  “I actually do try to sleep most nights.” Which was a lie, of course. He hadn’t been there last night, at least not at the same time. Was he messing with me?